2014 in review

Considering no one knows about my blog….I’m surprised I even got this….

But as with most things that I do, it’s fun to write….intresting to go back and see what I was feeling a year ago…or even a month ago…though lately, those feelings are all connected and have strung out like a piece of gum you pull from your mouth….seeing how far you can pull before it breaks.

Well, I guess, I’ll continue….it’s a good way to vent….maybe because I don’t have anyone bitching at me and telling me “I’m wrong”…..And honestly who really cares what I have to say, or even what I think.  The worlds managed to spin on it’s predetermined course and it’s still on it’s axis, so my words don’t shake anyone’s world.  And they aren’t meant too.

Happy New Year.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 300 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Sunsets and Dead Ends…

I love sunsets. Really, who doesn’t?
The end of a day. Be it good, bad or wonderfully beautiful…winding down, to rest from a long day at work, or wherever and from whatever you’ve done.
To sit and relax, catch up on a favorite TV show, read a book, or work on a craft project.
We examine our day, and if things have not gone well, we plan on the things that will make the next day better.
Sunsets, the end of one day, and the possibilities of another tomorrow.

Dead Ends….when we come to the end of the road, do we turn around and go back, or do we find a different route. In relationships, we move forward…in trips, we look for an easier, shorter route.

It’s getting to be the end of another year. I say that mostly with great sadness…It’s been 6 months since my sister died…I still feel as sad as the day she left this world. The holidays don’t help much…but I’ve never really liked the holidays. And it seems that as the years go by, I find less and less to enjoy. Maybe I should stop believing in the “fairy tale” stories of a God.
That would certainly take care of Christmas! But, alas, it is easier said than done. And it’s not the actual day that gets me, its the all the days before.

Examining my life at the close of the year….I don’t know, it sucks as much
as it did last year! LOL….Still in a rut, maybe even more. I’m seriously thinking of asking my doctor for some, “happy pills”! Who know, it could change my “shitty attitude”! I’m seriously thinking that I should go to the doctor….my body’s been sending messages for months, and I’ve been ignoring them…not good. I know. But, I don’t care.
It feels like the world conspires against me….and so do some people!

I’m thinking I need to divest myself of things, people….after a while, why keep that which does not benefit you, physically, emotionally or spiritually…
Less baggage, less untruths, less games, less B.S…..Just bogs you down.
Your not as important to some people as you’d like to believe you are…while your fixating on what good things to bring, they are fixating on better things, and better pickings….certainly not you. It’s all a game, and you’r the toy.
But, damn, it’s hard cleaning out the closet!
Oh well, after all these years, whats a few more. Right?

Shopping, I haven’t done a thing. Good things for gift cards. I’ve never been one to want things, gifts from people…the fun was all in the shopping, looking for something fun, something new, something that wouldn’t sit in a closet, or a drawer….but this year…I would like for someone to give me something….I don’t know what. I haven’t really thought about it….but, it’s just the thought, to be remembered and appreciated. Oh well….if it’s not happened in all these years, who am I kidding to think, its going to happen now. I remember the last time I got my hopes all up and it sure was disappointing when it didn’t happen. It’s like when someone goes on a trip and you ask them to bring you back something, and they come back with something for everyone else….and then give you some lame excuse for why they didn’t bring you back anything….Lame excuses….I hear those all the time! I’m not significant enough to merit a caring thought and some cheap souvenir. LOL…
I try to remember something someone told me years and years ago….
“Our rewards are waiting for us in heaven”….well, what the fuck happens if you don’t get to heaven? Huh?
I do dislike the holidays, it just seems to bring up all the crap I hold in all year long, sometimes, crap from years and years past. That’s not good!!!! Think of the positives, not the negatives…if someone doesn’t appreciate you…fine someone who will. Or just keep doing what your doing…sooner or latter, good things will happen…maybe not from the people you expect them from…but from something else, someone else. After all, Christmas is all about giving. And certainly, our greatest reward will be, making it to heaven…the description of hell that I will always remember, was not the stench of sufler, and the burning fires….but the darkness…being separated from the Love of God, from the Light of God.

Even now, though we may not be perfect, though we may sin and live in the shadows of God’s Mercy…we can still feel the light of He’s ever presence, feel the love of He’s Love….in hell, we will feel nothing. There will be no beauty to feast upon…In the evening sunsets we watch a beautiful horizon with unbelievable colors…in the morning mist, we see the rays of the coming sun, the night giving way to light…in the flowers that bloom in the fields, the beauty of the man you love, the woman you share you life with…in the children you hold, the friendships that tie you to memories from years past…an abundance of beauty surrounds us…to think of being separated from all that…never to see it again….to think, we will never be reunited with our parents, a spouse, a loved one…that our eternity will be filled with darkness and lonliness. What a terrible thought.

Christmas…the birth of A Child who would change the world…redemption. A new life. Christmas, a time to give and be thankful, even for the smallest of things…even for the people who cause you grief, break your heart…In all the bad that happens in the world, in the evil that exist, we still are able to find
a piece of beauty, a glimmer of love and peace…

Merry Christmas….may it shine in your heart not just on the 25th….but everyday of the rest of your life.