Don’t you ever want to walk up to a person, wag your finger
in their face and say, FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!!!

No, I suppose you don’t…your a good person…you wouldn’t even
think to consider being that mean….well, I’m not that kind of
person, but ever so often, though lately, it’s seems like a lot more…
that I get that feeling…where I’d really like to tell people what
I think of them…what useless lots they are…how the world would
just be better if they didn’t exist…take a flying leap…go play
on the interstate…hold your breath for good. I know, I know,
that’s mean….makes me sound hateful…and I guess I am…
But, I’m just tired…tired of putting up with peoples shit…
they lie, they do things that just give me too many “what the fuck”
moments…Not that I’m immune from causing the same sentiments
in people…I’m not a saint! God, far from it!

Today, it just grates on my nerves…and I wanted it to be a good
Tuesday…it isn’t. Maybe it was the peach canning experience…maybe
it just waiting around…I’m tired of waiting! I’m just tired.
Maybe it’s having your feelings get hurt…maybe, it’s people saying
things that to them are funny…but I don’t think it’s funny.
Maybe, it’s being taken for granted…maybe it’s not getting flowers
or someone going on a trip and not bringing back a cheap gift
to say, here, I fucking remembered you, quit bitching that no
one remembers you!
Maybe, I should just go back to sleep and start my day off
tomorrow! Maybe, I need to get rid of all the people that
just piss me off…maybe, I should just chalk it up to life…it is
what it is…HA!!! I hate that fucking saying….
It is what it is…like your consigning yourself to this life and there’s
nothing else! There is something else, isn’t there? There’s got to
be! Right?

I realize people aren’t here to make us happy…we do that on
our own, find our own happniess, make our own happiness…but
doesn’t it help when people lend a hand…or at least throw a few
crumbs your way! Give you hope…give you a sense that your
worth the time and sometimes, trouble…
Why do I feel, like I’m surrounded by so many people, but, I feel
so alone!

Maybe instead of going back to sleep….I’ll get up and, head out
into the world and just be mean, mean to everyone…instead
of my usual smile, I’ll sneer at people….Ben makes fun of my
sneer…he says, you keep doing that, your face is going to freeze
into that position…sounds like something my parents would have
told me! “So what if it stays like that forever, it’s what you deserve!”

Okay, I think I feel better…No, not really…I blame my moods
on those left over renegade hormones left in my body…who
should be dying out, but they dont’ want too…they fight
fearlessly for a few more years of bitchy and don’t fuck with
me or your ass will be grass attitude….

I am woman, and I still do roar! GRRRRRRaawwwww…

And, LIFE, fuck you…your a shitty asshole, I hate you.

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