I’m Sorry for getting old and fat

“”When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now

Will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine?

If I’d been out ’til quarter to three, would you lock the door?

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four?

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What’s That Line?

You’ll be older too


And, if you say the word, I could stay with you

I could be handy, mending a fuse, when your lights have gone

You can knit a sweater by the fireside, Sunday mornings, go for a ride

Doing the garden, digging the weeds, who could ask for more?

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four?

Every summer we can rent a cottage

In the Isle of Wight if it’s not too dear

We shall scrimp and save


Grandchildren on your knee””

Grandchildren on your knee

Vera, Chuck, and Dave


Paul Mc Cartney;John Lennon

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The first time I ever started a blog, one of the things I wrote in describing myself…a conservative Hispanic woman…tired of the poltiicans not listening to “we the people”…..seemed a bit trite at the time…but it wasn’t far from the truth.  

Exercising  my constitutional rights by voting in the primaries today…it was not a good feeling.  I didn’t feel patriotic, I didn’t feel like I was accomplishing something grand…If I knew that guilt wouldn’t wreck my conscience forever or at least for a few years…though at my age, that could be a short forever…but if I knew it wouldn’t have bothered me, I would have skipped it…stayed home and enjoyed watching whatever it was that I was watching on TV.   

I’d figured that I’d do it on Tuesday…until I was going thru Facebook and the head of the local Republican Party had a notice about how many hours were left before the polls closed and you didn’t really want to wait till Election Day, unless you wanted to wait in line…at my age, waiting in line, or just waiting isn’t much fun.  It never was…but my patience has dwindled as has my time left on earth…

I’m not going to tell you who I voted for…I will say that it wasn’t for the “Donald.”  I’ve watched most of the debates, either catching them from beginning to end or the last hour given to the candidates…except for this last one…and I’m so glad I couldnt’ find or did’nt spend the time looking for the channel it was on…Just watching the clips made me neaustingly sick…it reminded of a WWE fight match expect without the physical contact.  Sniping at each other like a bunch of women….Oh I know, that’s not a politically correct thing to say….but that’s what I thought of.  

In the beginning, Trump looked viable..after all he was saying all the right things…border security…a wall…because nothing protect us better than a wall….that’s why  we have walls in our homes.  Inside and out.   And who doesn’t like hearing, “let’s make America great!”  Right?  Back when Obama ran the first time…weren’t we all just a little seduced by his battle cry…”yes we can, Change we can believe in”….catchy and hooky.  It was okay until I heard “fundamental transformation of American…and I’m like…okay…I know we need fixing…but not transforming. I’m rather happy with the American I’m living in right now….what do you transform it into?  Things haven’t turned out so great…well, that’s my. Personal opinion along with millions of other Americans. 

So time’s gone by and the Rethoric has become shrieled and downright filled with a hate I’ve not known.  It’s okay to be unhappy with the things going on in our country today….we’ve reason to be concerned.  We are right to be concerned by the influx of illegal immigrants crossing our borders….enticed by the perks Americ has to offer, and certainly enticed by the perks our government advertises to foreigners with pamphlets filled with information left in embassies and wherever it’s appropriate to leave such propaganda around…After all,  the government is swimming in money…right?

We haven’t borrowed 20 trillion dollars from foreign countries….to pay for perks, wars, testing on the sexual life of shrimp…defintely we haven’t borrowed that much money to pay for pork barrel projects that get our state senators and representatives elected, and they bring back home all those goodies to. get re-elected….quid pro quo.  Eh?   Imagine your young children, grand children, generations from now will be paying for all that money that was borrowed.   Which makes it sad…because all those generations will never live like we have….they’ll have to work like, “dogs” to pay back that debt.  But no one thinks much about it because it’s not happening now…it s a future we will never get to see.   Thank God!

Back to the Trumpester….I’m always bitching about how president Obama’s turned everyone agaisnt each other…there’s the have’s the have not’s, the one percenters….the prevlidged “white people”.  The racists, anti gays, misogynist, anti feminists, against women choice…religious zealots….there’s a whole list of anti shit waving around the American I grew up in…I’m afraid to get up some morning and go outside…for fear that I may be against or for the wrong or the right thing…..and some guys in back suites will come and cart me away…you know how they do that in some of those Godforsaken. Countries   throughout the world or across the border.  Pardon me while I mention the word, God.  I still kind of believe in him…though our faithful leader Papa Fancisco has made me wonder.  WE’ve always been a little on the social justice side of life…I just never realized we were damn stuck in socialism….or one of those “ism’s.”

So the Pope and the Trumpester has made me Leary of some of the things  I used to believe in.  I could have honestly put up with most of the things Donald said…ignorance is bliss as they say…but when I started to he the blatantly hostile hate toward Mexicans and not just the illegal ones…I had to pause, take a deep breath and smell the stench of something so UnAmerican…well maybe not so. New….after all didn we hold hundreds of thousand of Japanese Americans in concentration camps during WW11. And at one time we nearly wiped out all the Native people…American’/America is not always the great country we like to believe we are…but let’s not go into the sins of the past…let’s talk about the present…

I understand the need to follow the law…no one is above the law…well except for politicans at all levels of public office….Hillary Clinton kept a server in her home from which her emails came in which had top secret information…she’s managed to weasel herself out any trouble so far…and most likey for the foreseeable future.   You and I had done that…we’d be facing 10 to 20.  Forty Something years ago…in highschool I had a part time job while going to school.  And one of the first things we were told was that anything we saw, read or heard was confidential….we would face immediate termination or even prison time. If we took, copied anything that belonged to the IRS.  I was an IRS employee..   Confidential information for millions of Amreiricans.   Secrets.   So…as I listened to voice of the people…I became disheartened…we pick and chose our leaders…the felons separated by the degree of the crimes they commit…and depending on which side of the political spectrum they stand on.   And whoever’s  in control.  

I understand that coming here is a privilege….there are laws that we all follow, we live by. There is a procedure that a foreigner must follow if wants to visit, live and stay.  But Millions of people have not done that…for whatever reason.  Most of the people that come from South American, Mexico come here for the opportunity to work…Work that they say, Americans would not do.  We’re lazy.  I’ve heard that one myself.  And my answer has been….No!  we aren’t lazy…we’re  smarter!  My parents didn’t say….for your future, we want yo to learn to scrub floors, make beds, wash dishes, take care of other people’s children…mow lawns, pick strawberries and do whatever menial back breaking jobs that are out there…that will be your lot in life…No, instead my illerate parents told us, do well in in school, graduate High school, go to college and be a teacher, a doctor , a lawyer…anything that will keep you from the fields and back breaking words…each morning my mother handed me my lunch bag, my satchel instead of a pick and shovel…every parent  wanted better for their kids…every parent who is worth their place in heaven will instill a good education and good work ethic to their children.
I’m not saying those jobs are bad…the backbone of American is the construction worker…the field hand…the guy that keeps the engines oiled and tuned the guys who build our homes and plumb. our toilets…Someone still needs to pick the strawberries and pick the walnuts and if it has to be foreign  hands that do it…great…but they need to be here legally and the companies that hire them need to pay them well instead of taking advantage of their status and paying them less…growing up there was a family of 16 kids who every summer before school ended, would pack up and head to California or Washington State as migrant workers…returning weeks after school had started in the fall.  Third generation Americans working hard to support their famils without any government handouts.  

I guess I say all this because I see it firsthand…it’s something I’ve grown up around.  it’s part of my American story.  Growing up when it was stil okay to be a biogot agaisnt anyone not white in the south is something I remember.  though we weren’t as badly treated as African Americans.  So, listening to the hate against Mexicans. makes me very uncomfortable… And it is not just the. Mexcians I blame…it s Washington…the Politicians who have allowed this…and for who…certainly not for the advantage of the American Tax payer…instead for their re-election…companies, corporations who donate millions into political coffers.   Lobbyists who court political favors…someone who has millions to gain…and it certainly isn’t the American  taxpayer nor the illegal immigrant. 
The Rethoric has always reminded me of the countless history books I’ve read…at the start of the Nazi raise to power…the hate directed at the Jews….or. We can go back to the hate directed against the Irish, the Italians, the Catholics.  Though the Catholics still aren’t liked…wer’e tolerated..but we. Aren’t  Christians….or so I’ve been told.  At the beginning of the trump phenomenon I bought into it…and as it became more apparent at where it could lead too…I started with the…we need to be careful…because this could turn on us…first it’s the illegals and then the legals…and I’ve seen it, heard it.  It’s not nice.  It’s scary.  I’ve told this story a hundred times….it’s something Iv’e never forgotten…as a little girl my mom had waiste lengh hair which she wore in braids..we didn’t have a car so we walked everywhere…on this particular ocassion we were walking to  the store and a car driven by one of the highschool boy alone with his friends passes us by…as it passed us they began to yell at us..first yelling Mexicans and then calling my mom “sqaw woman”…my mom didn’t know what  it. meant…but I did. I. Know that anger has a fine line…that hate has a fine line.  Once it’s crossed you can never go back….maybe it’s my experiences as a kid…maybe it’s my imagination…my fears….but it doesn’t take much for A person to go from human to animal…we’ve seen it countless times…we’ve read about it in history books…

Life is an. adventure…I’ve lived an almost wonderful adventure….I’d like to see my grandchildren and generations of families live that adventure, maybe and for sure a better one…to know freedom to never experience hate because of the color of their skin….for as long as human beings have existed, there has always been strife.  Wars,   There have always been the haves and the have nots…there has always been a pecking order…leaders and followers, doers and people who just exist.  Hate and envy has Been with us since the creation of man…there have always been those certain people who can stoke the embers of hate with beautifully places words…make America great…fundamental transformation……fear makes us follow…desperation, anger….our basic instincts to survive..   
Can we survive?? Can America Sruvive?? Or is the grand experiment over… 

As I. Finish this…the thought came to me…we haven’t  finished with the voting…the real election comes in November!!  What a cruel joke!  LOL